I miss Thanksgiving.

Not the one that was a few days ago...the many that were over 20 years ago now.

That's when my father was still alive.

He was the heart of every holiday for us really. For as much as my mother grumped around.. complaining and yelling...he was the most joyous opposite. I really liked that I was the one that always got to sit next to him at the head of the dinner table. All the while my mother would be stern in her prayer and scoldings...my father would be making funny faces at me. (He always made sure I got extra chocolate pie too) After dinner he would tell me stories about his own family from Europe and we would often go outside to stare at the sky. I never really knew why. I suspect he was thinking about his family that he missed that had passed on. Still, it was "our" special time.

Even as I grew older, my father's young at heart and happy persona always remained strong. He really was my hero and indeed he was what I was always most thankful for those days so long ago.

The Thanksgiving after he passed away his seat remained empty that dinner. We all mostly ate in silence...well except for my mother's complaining. I found myself glancing down at my son and making silly faces at him. I felt like there was a huge hole in my heart, but I knew that I had to carry on my dad's own unique holiday traditions. I made sure my son got extra pie and then I wandered outside alone to look at the sky.

When I came in a bit teary and empty I had gone to the hall closet for some insignificant reason. Leaning to my left was my dad's cane. I held the handle and smiled. It was then that I "felt" Thanksgiving...remembering family in the present and the past.

I glanced at the dinner table and saw the ghosts of my uncle and aunt laughing..my dad pulling silly faces and doing magic tricks..my sister poking me and pouring soda pop on my head.

Every year..no matter what the dinner table..I still see those ghosts.

And I AM thankful.

Its because of those memories I can treasure those of my own children. I take in every movement, smile, or joke. Like a picture in my mind, it stays with me always as the years pass.

I just wish my dad was here to see it.

When I was six my mother started sending me to catechism classes at the local Catholic church school. Eight years later I was still attending. I hated it. Instead of the happy learning experience that I was promised...all I can recall is how we were all going to go to hell unless we confessed to Father every terrible thing that we'd ever done. Now, when you're six there isn't a lot that I can imagine one doing that could possibly be so terrible. Still...the "I forgot to take out the dog" got you at least five Hail Marys and a time out in the nearest pew.

By the time I was 13 I hadn't done much worse ...except miss mass. Now apparently that was a mortal sin (well, depending on whether you asked the old scary priest or the new hip one)

As I matured I began to see more holes in the teachings, more threats, more questionable ethics and behaviors. I recall challenging my mother to the many "whys" of the church...but she just sent me off in anger.

As soon as I my father allowed me...I quit catechism. (I don't really think he was on board with the Catholic teachings either...or maybe it was just too many bad memories nuns rapping the knuckles with a ruler that chilled him)

Still, every Sunday my mother would scream and yell at us to get to church services...and more and more I spent that hour daydreaming.

By the time I was seventeen I wasn't even attending mass...I'd drive off to the local Dairy Queen and contemplate dating instead. If my mom would have known she would have surely killed me...but luckily she attended Saturday night mass instead.

By the time I was in college I had taken a few courses on religion and decided that many did indeed use scare tactics to "keep their flock in line" I also realized how politics and religion can go hand in hand...and not in a good way.

I decided that I would embrace my own system, a combination of many religions..and teach my children the same...and give them a choice.

Last night my youngest daughter was invited to a youth church service at a new local church. I was mortified to find out that at this service the children (all between ages 8 and 10) were told that the world would be ending in seven years. The minister went on to describe burnings and pain...and how only those attending would be "saved"

Thank goodness my child has been taught that many religions have their own ways..not necessarily wrong or right...just different. Otherwise I could have had a hysterical little girl on my hands.

I do not think that children need to be controlled by such scare tactics. They are young and should not have to deal with such a grown up view. Its all debatable, I say let kids be kids..a basic teaching of right and wrong should suffice.

Innocence is a beautiful thing....no one should force that away.

I am officially disgusted with this whole house selling crap. I knew it would be a pain and take time...but really, people are now just simply annoying the heck out of me.

Maybe I should never read the comments on the Centralized Showing reports...they just make me want to smack people in the head.

Now, I do count us lucky that people generally don't have anything to complain about with our house...so they must invent things......

Yesterdays viewer left the comment that "there was not enough access to the dining room". Now I find this rather interesting since the dining room is right off the kitchen AND formal living room. There are two entrances...one of them is 5 feet wide. Now, I'm not sure what sort of access these people wanted..unless they have elephants or fifty dinner guests at a time using alternate ways to get in.

Another intriguing comment was "didn't like that the toilet was located in the master bathroom"

Ah, well..where exactly would one put a toilet? Next to the bed? In the closet? behind the dresser? Aren't master bathrooms made for such things...namely toilets?

Oh, I liked this one too..."was distressed to see a power line pole" Now, please understand that the post in question is not one of those horrible cancer causing electrical towers..it is a wee old wire post..more than 200 feet away...covered in the middle of a forest....that I personally cannot see unless I hurl myself in the air off a trampoline while using binoculars.

And I do so enjoy "did not like paint color choice in bedroom" Can these people not wield a paint brush on their own? I did not choose cotton candy pink for their personal enjoyment, I chose it for my daughter...who is quite happy with it. If people think I'm going to paint my entire house in magnolia..only to be stuck with it if it never sells..they are truly idiots.

I do get a lot of "lovely, large kitchen"...except for one lady...who thought the kitchen size was "almost too big" What does THAT mean?

Sometimes I'll see comments like "not enough land" or "too much land"....."beautiful garden" or "too much garden". Do these people not read the summary or look at the multiple pictures on the multiple listing service before they waste my time with useless appointments?

There is really nothing worse then someone INSISTING that they simply MUST see your home in an hour...only to stay 5 minutes while you are still suffering from Windex inhalation.. while your back is aching from dragging the Godzilla vacuum up and down the steps at record speed.. while you've had to herd 3 children and two dogs into a hot stuffy car at 100 degrees...(and by the time the car air cools it down...the people have left)

I'm over halfway through the summer and NOT enjoying it. I dare not leave a crumb on the counter, cook a roast, or have a party...coz if I do..I KNOW those potential buyers will be calling in. They are an evil breed.

Maybe I'm too nice. If I view a home I find something pleasant to say...even if the home is not for me. I don't expect to wake sellers up at 8am so I can stomp through their house on the weekend at daybreak...I don't leave poo in their toilet (they really have done that)...I call well ahead to view at their convenience. But these people I get? Idiots.

Don't know how much more I can take before I grab that for sale sign and beat a few viewers cars with it.