With everything going on around the house I have been terribly absent from my blog. My children have reprimanded me enough to make me feel quite guilty actually. Thus, here I am...among piles of homeschooling books, bills, house viewing pamphlets, budgets, and some random cookie crumbs.

Sadly though, it is a week of mourning. Both of my daughters' fish died. I'd like to say it was because of old age...but unfortunately, it was murder....no...wait... "accidental death"

Now one would think that I would know by now just how many ounces are in one gallon...but I carelessly blurted "64" instead of "128". (A terrible blunder..being that hubby was dispensing some new concoction to clean the fish tanks at 1 teaspoon per gallon) In my defense however, I did immediately say..."but I'm not sure on that...do you want me to look it up dearest?" He said "No" (Much too trusting I say)

Thus the little habitats were cleaned and doused with a double dose of chemical...and sadly when dear Fin and Lily returned to their homes they were dead within the hour.

A terrible, piercing scream echoed from the upstairs hall where I was certain that my 9 year old had broken her arm...or perhaps had seen a spider. My heart caught in my throat as I flew out of my office yelling for my husband. But it was he that came from the hallway carrying one of the fish tanks with my daughter tearfully trailing after. He just shook his head and said it must have been the chemicals.

For five hours my 9 year old wailed. It was awful. It was her first experience with grief...with the first pet of her own. Her fish was gone. At night she read stories to it, in the morning she fed it and talked to it...she even played some strange form of hide and go seek with it. Her Lily was indeed her friend.

My second daughter was coming back from a lake trip...all bright eyed and spilling with news...until she too...found out about her fish. Her fish Fin, that had been a constant in her room for 2 years...through happy times and sad times. Her dresser looked horribly empty.

We decided on a backyard burial. (My youngest thought that the old toilet flush was too cruel) Still, the idea of the fish not being in water upset her...thus we came up with an amber tinted glass vitamin jar. We filled it with water and the fish. At sunset we all buried Fin and Lily's jar under the apricot rose bush out back. We even made a headstone with a smooth small rock. Of course we all had to say a few parting words. I'm sure it might have looked a bit silly...but seeing my daughter's tears...I know that it really meant a lot.

Today there are 2 small flower petals on the little grave. It makes me sad to know that this is only a taste of the grief that will come with life and death in the years to come. Still, it opened up communications about letting go and the afterlife. I guess it's all just the beginning of one of life's lessons. RIP Fin and Lily.

Six years ago my little girl had the first major crush of her life. She was 8...he was 8. It was the cutest, most innocent puppy love ever. I remember her coming in from her first day of school just absolutely gushing over this dear boy. Of course at age 8...well, I'm sure he thought she had cooties. But she was persistent, I'll give her that. As luck would have it, the neighborhood we'd just moved into was HIS neighborhood as well. Fate seemed to throw them together year after year...much to my daughter's delight. Later, I was to find out that the school teachers thought that they were so adorable together that they'd purposely put them in the same elementary class year after year.

The two kids became buddies. Although I do believe my daughter spent more time staring at this young man all starry eyed while he was much more interested in playing Super Mario. They trick or treated together...she as his princess...and he laughing at her and pulling off her wig to tell her she looked stupid. Then there were the Valentines...hers..the perfect heart..the perfect signature...and his...a scribble on a simple Ninja Turtle. Christmases came and went...and birthdays too. All the while they remained friends. My daughter had saved every bit of paper, card, or gift that he'd ever given to her.

By the time middle school came around there was new excitement...new boys AND new girls. ...and a new school. My daughter was drawn in one direction, while her young man in yet another. They'd stayed in touch though. They had seen each other through some great times and some tough times. For years they laughed together, cried together..and argued together. But always, always...they found their way back to the innocent friendship they'd built years earlier.

My daughter didn't see her young man as her shining knight anymore. She'd come to realize that they were always going to be just buddies. He was her fellow cohort..he was one of her closest friends..just like a brother in fact. Yet he...well, as fate would have it one day at a middle school dance this fellow came to realize that my daughter was indeed his princess.

So as one child gave up on the other as she matured...the other only then started to notice. Sweet irony.

Still though, they had their friendship. If one needed the other..he or she was there. It was as if nothing would ever really change. It was almost taken for granted...time passed....they would catch up with each other every few months. And then he called one day to say that his family was moving.

My daughter felt an unexpected knot in her chest. He would always be there...he had always been there...they were always going to be a few blocks walk away...not hours. It was a sad realization. I watched these two grow from 3rd to 9th grade. I watched them go from little kids to awkward teens, and now that high school was beginning it was all going to end.

A few hours ago my daughter said goodbye to him.

It's not that long of a drive away...but it isn't a jog either. No more late pizzas, video games, summer evenings, walks, or bus rides together. At least they will have their beloved texting. But will their friendship grow apart? I saw their eyes full of tears, and I cried too. Sometimes I hate change. In a way I think they had always been each others safe person....or maybe each others box full of most cherished silly memories.

I hope they never lose their connection...its a good one...its one of happy, safe, fun memories that they will no doubt keep forever.

As they hugged and waved goodbye it wasn't such a small thing. It was pretty painful...not such a little thing at all.

Maybe it was my manic dancing, my howling, or just my general grumpiness that finally got Mother Nature to back off. It was a miracle..I swear I heard tinkling angelic music (or maybe my new wind chimes) Regardless, after my last post the sun came out...it stayed out...hell, I don't even know if ever went away last night. The Weather Underground radar?...magically clear. I tell you...my complaints have pull.

So now that I whined about boats and umbrellas yesterday is it bad of me to moan about the sun being...well TOO sunny? I know, I know...I should shut up and be thankful...but it was downright blistering hot and bright today (maybe my eyes haven't adjusted to proper light yet, I dunno) Anyway it was blinding. I could hardly see my happy pinwheels spinning or my flowers blooming. But what I did see...was a big old black snake.

I was pleasantly fanning myself (swatting the mosquitoes away) and enjoying a sprinkle on my toes from the hose (it was going full blast coz I lost the sprayer) and then I was discombobulated by the glaring sun and heat and I thought I was having a vision (or possibly the beginning of a wavy black migraine ) But no...it was certainly a snake. I jumped about 5 feet in the air and faced the bugger down. It was about 2 feet away, raising its slimy head...looking like a viper. This is where you might think I would exaggerate...but I am not when I say this thing was at least 5 feet long and more then 2 inches round. (Yea, I about pooped my pants indeed) Still though..I had a mad adrenaline surge. I aimed my blasting hose with my thumb pressed over part of the end so I could wield it like a water weapon. Right between the eyes. It jumped, I yelped...then I growled and it started to slither off. I was so full of primitive defense energy that I kept growling while I chased it all the way across the lawn with my super hose.

Now I have come in and thought about how idiotic I must have looked...or how stupid I was.

If the sun wasn't out this would not have happened.

My yard is a danger.

I have to take my child to gymnastics in a bit..I'm sneaking out the side door with a pitchfork (well, barbecue fork) and I'm making a run for the jeep.

Stupid snake...if only it would have been raining...