Usually, it's the kids bringing home some obnoxious, infectious germ. This time it was my husband who introduced us to "Mongo the Mutant Virus"

Somewhere out there lurks some dribbly nosed infecto that spewed his or her viral demons all over some desk, coffee pot, or doorknob. Within one week of the unknown assailant assaulting the workplace...dear hubby came home with a scratchy throat.

This is ALWAYS a very bad sign. At this point I organized the cupboard for him, lining up Tums, Tylenol, Advil, Sudafed, Robitussin, and Vicks Vapo Rub. I knew that within 24 hours he was destined to become but a shell of a man...weak, pitiful, sneezy, stuffy, achy, droopy and tired. (The seven dwarfs of sickness all wrapped up into one feverish body) And I was right.

However, his B vitamins gave him almost superhuman strength (He managed to make it 3 hours into work before he completely deflated) Limping home up the steps, bleary eyed and hacking at least half a lung up...he dropped his superman cape and waved the white flag.

It's always difficult sleeping in the same room as a sick spouse. The coughing shakes the bed, the sniffling and nose blowing sound like broken water mains and foghorns, a gentle tug for the covers becomes an all out war, the tossing becomes so unbearable that one thinks of bunking with the children...until...there is that unmistakable sound from down the hall.

A cough.

Then..."Mommeeeeeeeeeeee"

Quickly, I dosed child number one with some form of horse tablet while securing the door with "Do not enter" tape. Meanwhile, child number two breaks through the barrier to announce a headache. Within 6 hours there was no school lunch to pack...no little book bag to fill. My house was under quarantine.

A very exciting array of pharmaceuticals lined the window sill. I had adult tablets and ointments; children's syrups, sprays, and lozenges; all in an assortment of flavors and colors...all of which smelled and tasted completely disgusting. There was Kleenex everywhere...boxes, wads, shreds...real confetti. I ran around with Lysol, hand sanitizer...and antibacterial soap. I made soup, tea...served juice, toast... and the entire house went to hell. I'm behind on laundry, cleaning, and myself. I look like a mad chicken with frayed nerves.

Happily, my hubby had kicked the germ rather quickly (Due to my constant love and devotion I'm sure) and child number one was sick in so much silence that I practically forgot that she was home...but child number two...agh...night after night sleeping in our room...hacking, crying, snorking. FINALLY, after 4 days she trotted off back to school. I was free! I disinfected everything...a new day had dawned...

until child number three came down.....

Coughing

The hazemat teams should be by at anytime to pick up the bio hazard drums full of Kleenex.

As for me..I'm off to the pharmacy. Boy, have they made a lot of money out of me this week.