A typical call:

What? Can we show our home in 2o minutes? Excuse me ma'am while I try to scrape the spaghetti noodles off the stove as I just finished making dinner. I hope the potential buyers don't mind the smell of garlic. My sorted laundry is on the bed...but it is color matched and fresh as a daisy. Of course we can all clear out in 15 minutes. I'll just drag the dogs in from the rain and throw them in the van with the rest of the kids. Let me just clean the wet paw prints off the floor..maybe some Febreeze might kill the wet dog/garlic smell. Sorry about the front lawn being half mowed..but it did just start to rain. Pay no mind to the 2 overflowing bins at the edge of the drive...its garbage day and the truck is late. No... no, of course we can accommodate your customers...even though their house probably isn't even on the market yet and they have no intention of buying this one.

That's what it's like really. I could have this entire house in pristine condition...for days. And the minute..no the moment there are more then 4 dirty dishes on our counter, a planned sleepover, or some dreaded family flu..you just know that phone is going to ring.

But sure, we accommodate. We run around like a crazed professional cleaning service..why? Because that ONE viewing could be THE buyer that we need...that we lose sleep over...that we want to do back flips for...just so he will buy our home.

Do these people appreciate it? Do they have any clue about how difficult it is to present a perfect home while 5 people and 2 dogs live in it? I doubt it. Even worse is after the fact. The viewing is over...we all drag ourselves home from either hanging out at Food Lion for an hour or driving aimlessly throughout the subdivision just to kill time. Today we couldn't be bothered and ended up parked at the top of the road for 45 minutes..then I worried that the neighbors yonder might see us all parked there ...not knowing who we were and think we were stalkers as the first elementary school bus was about due at the corner.

After all that we were relieved to see the Realtors car whiz by us so we could reclaim our home. Within 2 hours the counter was covered in crumbs, the dogs tore up the toilet paper roll, and after a good workout..my son had the entire bottom floor smelling of sweat. That's when centralized showing called back of course.

This time we camped out in the local parking lot eating Chinese take out.

It was the same people that had viewed the house earlier. We were kind of excited, giddy really...I mean, who comes back in 2 hours if they aren't serious? We celebrated with ice cream, toasted with Pepsi and made our way home....only to discover that the people didn't choose to purchase our home after all. Idiots.

I wonder how many more times we will have to go through this mad dance?

I wonder if I dare to ever plan anything?

Oops gotta go...the phone's ringing..centralized showing.