If I wanted this much rain I could have stayed put in the UK. It's downright unnatural, annoying, and depressing. Usually at this time of year we are just wishing for a thunderstorm...only to get one spit of 30 second rain and then back to blistering heat. Well, we do still have the heat...but where is all this precipitation coming from? So okay...its hurricane season...but we haven't had any. I looked at the radar satellite imagery yesterday and it looked like someone (mother nature?) was randomly firing red paint balls at every county. There were flash flood warnings, severe thunderstorms, hail, and high wind advisories everywhere I looked.

Our local weatherman was worn out..the poor guy has practically been living at the station because the national weather service keeps spitting out reams of weather watches he has to report to us every 15 minutes...thus interrupting every television program that we attempt to watch.

Our yard is soggy...my dog keeps sinking; Our trees are leaning oddly...my ceramic gnomes fell to an early death; my flowers are floating....I should have bought lily pads. As a matter of fact I'm thinking about building an ark out of my deck.

I have become obsessed with the Weather Underground website. It forecasts clouds and rain for us for the next 5 days. ( No matter how many times I keep refreshing it) Still, the satellite pictures have become a fascinating display of odd splotches and shapes...somewhat like a priceless work of art. (I wonder if I can sell them if I hit "print")

I usually look forward to sitting out on the screen porch, sipping lemonade, flipping through a magazine, watching the bunnies hop by. But no. I tried. The wind whips the rain across the lounger, splattering me with cold plops through the screen...my lemonade is flat....my magazine is waterlogged...even the bunnies have deserted me. I have had a front row seat for the local lightning display though....intense bolts zig zagging across the sky...flashes blinding me and then booms shaking me so deeply that it stirs my bowels into action.

I want the sun back. I wonder if I can figure out some ancient weather dance. I'd do it you know. Maybe I can make one up involving plastic palm leaves, a coconut bra, sand, and a kiddie pool? I'm desperate here...

See what's happening. Its like SAD (seasonal affective disorder)...my summer season is being disorderly alright. It's triggering a depressive response. How can I be that happy, smiling mother that welcomes the little ones home from school with a hug when I am faced with possibly wading up to the bus stop, or possibly canoeing....armed with plastic ponchos, life vests, and a stack of umbrellas? I won't be smiling. I will be drippy...and droopy. My make up will run and I will frighten everyone into thinking I'm Alice Cooper.

And what is with the radio? "Raindrops Keep Fallin on my Head"..."Ain't No Sunshine"..."Blame it on The Rain"..."Purple Rain"...and what now? Celine Dion crooning about the Titanic? Maybe I won't be starting up the boat after all.

I'm not even hungry.

I want my appetite back. I want the urge for a cool crisp salad and cold sweet watermelon on a hot sunny day. Right now...well, soup seems do-able. Agh.

Maybe Weather Underground has it's recent update..maybe the blobs of green, yellow, orange and red are gone....maybe the storm tracker has no storms to track...maybe.